Existing in this body often feels like a horror movie. Ive hated this body since I was a preteen. Puberty was an absolute nightmare for me. Not that it's pleasant for anyone but puberty for me was learning I was deformed and coping with the fact that I wasnt 'normal' and the terror of having to endure major surgeries along with the recovery process. Not only did I have to deal with the horror of being disabled but also the horror of being female. I was never feminine in fact I hated being a girl and going though female puberty when you don't even like being female all while being sick, in pain, vulnerable, loaded up on narcotics. Yeah it was not a good time for me. Of course I had to have heavy ass periods as a young teen which made me feel even sicker, not to mention how gross and humiliating it was to try and kinda fail at keeping up with hygiene when your mobility is limited. I wish I could say 'it's all in the past now' but it really isnt. I still hate this crippled female body. I've often considered going on HRT for my gender dysphoria but I don't see much point in doing so since I know I will forever be dysphoric about my disability. I will never truly like this body and this is something I must accept.
Having a disability or chronic illness comes with what I call "the fun tax." The "fun tax" is the pain and misery your body feels after a day of fun activity. You pay the price of having the audacity to enjoy life by being bedridden the next day or the next few days. Whenever I make plans with friends I always have to consider that Im almost guaranteed to not feel well the next day so a "one-day" outing with friends will be a 2-day endeavor for me. I hate the fun tax but Im willing to pay it. I want to have what ever little fun I can in life even if it destroys me.
Whenever I do household chores or other physically demanding activities I pretend Im some RPG character equipping armor and potions before a boss battle. The "armor" being back brace, compression socks, compression gloves, etc. and the "potions" usually being caffeine, THC and ibuprofen.